Tinder got big after I was married so I never got to create a profile, but always wanted to. So here is my employment tinder profile. In order to know if I would be a good cultural fit, I have responded to some basic first date questions you might want to ask. If you want to know more than this, take me to dinner first!
My name is Mataio Lealiiee. I go by Taio for short. I am a User Experience Designer with a background in strategic advertising and data analysis. I would prefer to think of my job title as a problem solver. I have a wife and a beautiful daughter and family is very important to me. I get very excited when I am solving problems, learning new things, and helping others.
I was born and raised in the DFW metroplex in Texas. My dad is from American Samoa which is where my name comes from. My mom was an army brat but born in Utah.
I am a very eclectic person. I love sports, mainly basketball, football, and volleyball. I honestly enjoy almost anything outdoors. I really enjoy music, TV shows and movies and have recently gotten into podcasts and audio books as well. I play video games and board games as well. I really like eating food. I am not sure if that is considered a hobby but it still belongs in the list.
My favorite movies is Remember the Titans. I remember thinking how amazing it was that something as trivial as football can break barriers and overcome prejudice in entire communities of people. I think that illustrates so many powerful things about the human experience.
I also am a big fan of super hero movies, rom coms, and the entire fantasy genre.
One of my favorite shows ever is Community. It is an ensemble comedy that comments on the modern state of TV culture and I think they do an excellent job of developing characters and telling stories. Dan Harmon, the creator of the show, uses a concept called the story circle that has changed the way I view all television and movies. On top of that, further research into the story circle has influenced my understanding of storytelling in general, even as it pertains to my professional career in fields like user experience design, marketing, branding, and data analysis. All of this research and knowledge has stemmed from watching this show.
Also, I think Avatar the Last Airbender is one of the best shows for children of any age!
I would have dinner with Joey Chestnut, the current hot dog eating contest champion. We would go to dinner at the Big Texan, a restaurant in Amarillo, Texas that serves a 72 oz. steak that if you can finish in under an hour you get for free, a feat I have been wanting to do since I was a kid. Joey would coach me in the craft of competitive eating as I easily defeat the 72 oz. slab of pure Texas Longhorn beef. Then we’d become best friends and start our own food network show touring the world looking for a meal that could finally quench his unbelievably large appetite. I am still workshopping names for the show, but I am thinking maybe the bottomless pit, or the never ending stomach.
I would honestly work for a non-profit. Obviously, I would spend a considerable amount of time with family and friends, but I would probably volunteer and places and try and make the world a better place. This is something I am super passionate about and I think if I didn’t have to worry about my own families survival, I would start helping other families with theirs.
I would love to be come Joey Chestnuts traveling companion in a food network TV show called “The bottomless pit”.
But if that doesn’t pan out, or if it is too late for me to make a Kurt Warner-esque return to sports stardom, I would definitely become a rapper. Not because I want to be famous for rapping, but because I love the complexities of the English language and the word play that lyricists are able to achieve. Ghost writing a song or two would be a dream come true for me.
New Zealand would be really cool so I could go hang out with the hobbits’ (*golem voice*). Also, I have never been to Samoa so it would be really cool to do both of those so I could reconnect with all the family I have out there.
In Texas, they have this placed called Braum’s and its like a burger and ice cream place that we would go to after big events like football games and stuff. I would get a bacon cheeseburger with a strawberry milkshake and French fries. In that simple, farm-fresh deliciousness is contained all the sentimentality one could prescribe to the word ‘Home’ for me.
Only dad jokes:
What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A waste of time
What happens when you eat aluminum foil?
You sheet metal.
What is the only concert you can go to for $0.45?
50 cent featuring nickelback
